My Star

"I saw you standing there
with the golden sun upon your hair
I thought that I was blind 
by your shining light

But now I know you're not 
who I thought you were
You're a brilliant star
(You're a brilliant star)
You're a brilliant star

behind a thousand more

I want to feel your warmth
like I never have before
I want to hear your voice
above all the noise

I never thought I would find you
but now that you are here
I want to make it clear
that you're my star

And now I know you're not 
who I thought you were
You're a brilliant star
(You're a brilliant star)
You're a brilliant star

behind a thousand more"

Listen to it here.

Loss

Loss of personality is a devastating experience akin to a dark, consuming depression. A chunk of your spirit atrophies and decays into a vicious torment. You are left with all the rotten, misery infested terrors, which you call your thoughts. And you'll always know that deep down inside you're untouchable, and deep down you've watched as the violent alterations ripped nature down in a whirlwind of mass desolation. Tearing you into a mangled, scarred ball of writhing puss, while you could only watch the mirrors burn down around you. Warming your hands for a time, the flame quickly flaring up and dying away, nothing can resurrect it, your flame has ended far beyond time. The flame of your soul, who you are in the heart of your hearts, is ripped away from you and torn to dust. If you light the fires early, they will be extinguished into the infinite nothing. Losing yourself is indescribable, words can never suffice for all the pain, loss, anger, and addictively poisonous melancholy. Regret for all your empty, golden flames. Wasted time is like a shooting star burnt out and hurled away into nothing's wake. You are stripped of yourself, like a snail from it's shell, and you are trapped in every foreign crack. You live in a hell, merely a dark fraction of a pitiful human being. A lonely feeling wrapped inside a body of grim misunderstandings and pointless interactions. When your hope melts into guilt, and you've lost the glint in your eyes, and spark on your face, it's the most awful and morbidly disturbing fear I have ever had.

Crack

"A family that is forged from lust,
is a family born broke from greed,
a lack of meaning inside of trust,
a family that forsakes to feed.

Little could be more shameful,
than waste of a heart and soul,
mere impact rolls like rainfall,
fear fate for fating a role.

Squandered loss of dreams,
from a single sins vile flaw,
flies sins to flames and screams,
leaves me left in searing awe."

Please, Let me Stay

"In the safe haven carved within her covers
empty inside from drifting into the fray
I wish she knew I loved her
because she might not feel this way

Her noose hangs like silk from space
she knots it more each day
I wish I wasn't out of place
because she might not feel this way

Her dam is breaking stone by stone
she sees the water is gray
I want her to know she's not alone
she doesn't need to feel this way

She's lost inside the deepest desert
and I wish to the stars
that I could once just show her
how I want to heal her scars

If she'd just let me stay
because she might not feel this way

She might not feel this way"

Voyage into Pathos

"Waves of bitter sensation swell in a deafening cacophony of shattered peace
in a shameful storm of trembling teardrops tumbling through a sky so bleak
angry streaks of pure white flame tearing the dark in a deafening release
cancerous chaos risen from a deep sea of despair into an impeneterable peak

My white sails wave onward tossed and torn within my seared soul water
regret rusting away at my battered bow in the remorse of unabated rain
through the eyes of angels all hope of surviving an escape from slaughter
seems a strain which is stemied in it's doom: a hope held high in vain

Celestial beings: decieved, for though the storm of pathos tosses 'round my ship
fleeting feelings born in brevity bear no sway on course of destination
my rudder is my action in it's turn I contain complete control within my grip
no dissenting emotion alters who I am, all actions are my only definition"

Your feelings don't define you, your actions do.

Paroi Déception

Verse 1:
"Another handicap, and my failures are still around.
People, never satisfied, are always looking down.
Thoughts running rampant in my head, 
all odds, and I wish I was dead.
Nobody knows how what I've done, could ever be right, 
and in all this dark, there's no light."

Chorus:
"All paths are now blocked, all bridges burned.
No one can help, no one's concerned.
I should have known...
A wall of disappointment, I built it alone.
Words lost in emptiness, nothing makes sense,
feeling helpless.
Collapsing me down, 
it's over now..."

Verse 2:
"A life of affliction, fueled by
mental restriction.
Help me to learn, to know
this addiction.
No one will know why I did what I did,
no will know how to take down my wall,
but if you drink from my cup, I promise
you'll fall. Bound to the ground,
I'll never see the sky, but it's all okay,
'cause one day I'll die."

Chorus x2

A song I'm working on.